Becoming A 10

I recently saw a link to a video(?)......it might have been an article (I didn't click on it) that was entitled something along the lines of how we can  attract the best person for us. This is something that I have thought about and talked about for three or four years now. I am not sure what that article/video thing actually said, but I am going to tell you what I believe.

This is taken from Date Yourself Part II: Becoming The Person Your Future Husband (Or Wife) Deserves which is from my other blog (What Sam Has To Say).

One of the Beehive Advisors in my ward gave a lesson once about "Becoming a 10". She talked about our future spouse and asked us what characteristics and things we wanted in our future spouse. The usually answers came up.  

Return Missionary 

Strong Testimony 

Good With Kids 

Cute 

Good Cook 

Funny 

College Graduate 

Buff (that got some laughs from the younger girls) 

Smart 

Goes To Church Every Sunday 

Nice To His Family 

And the list went on. She raised the question that all of us young women want to marry a man that is a "10" right? Well of course we would! Who wouldn't want to marry the person of their dreams? But the more important question she asked was what are we on the scale? Are we a 6? Maybe some of us are a 8. Or even a 3. Why would I guy who is a 10, marry someone who is a 6 or a 3? He wouldn't want to right? He would want a 10! She told us that we needed to consider a different list. Not about the guy we want to marry (the perfect 10) but what kind of person do we want to be for our future husband? So the list started again.   

Strong Testimony 

Funny 

Good Cook 

Loving 

Kind 

Good Listener 

Good With Kids 

Smart 

College Graduate  

(and for some) Return Missionary 

When the lists were once again complete, she told us that in order to marry a 10, we need to be a 10. But she told us that in order to be a 10, we needed to start working towards becoming that person now, rather than later. 

I seriously encourage you to not only go and read that post, but also the post that proceeded it. I am not saying I am perfect. I have changed and have lived through new experiences since then. I am still working and growing and learning and I hope that we can all grow to become better versions of ourselves. 

If We Were A Movie

If We Were A Movie

I want us to be a movie. That's what it really should be called.

Let's be real here. Life is not a movie. As much as we wish it were, and oh man do I wish it was, it's not.

Your dream guy won't show up outside your house with a boombox or even a pizza for that matter. The conversations and the things that you wish he would say, he won't. He can't read your mind and he probably does not stay up at night thinking about you. It is harsh, but it is true. He probably doesn't go home and analyze everything he said to you today. He probably doesn't try to come up with excuses to talk to you. He probably doesn't think about texting/calling you nearly as much as you think about it. He just doesn't.

But maybe he does.

And that is where it gets tricky.

Maybe he does stay up at night thinking about you. Maybe he will show up at your door randomly one day (although he still probably won't have a boombox. food is a possibility though). He may know what you are thinking some of the time and he might replay your conversations in his head. Maybe.

You see, the thing is everyone, every relationship is different. Maybe you found yourself in a situation that would be perfect in a Nicholas Sparks book, or maybe that's what you wish would happen.

Maybe he tells you some things, and then does the complete opposite. Maybe he confides in you, but only as a friend. Maybe he is completely smitten by you, but doesn't know how to tell you. Maybe he wants to be something more so bad but the timing is completely wrong. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

There are so many maybes.

I think that is what is so hard for me. I like answers. I would rather know straight up if someone did or didn't like me rather then waiting around to maybe get some kind of hint. I would at least be able to decide what I want to do next! If he did like me, I can see if that could possibly go anywhere. If he didn't like me, I can move on.

So maybe this post helped, or maybe you are even more confused about things then you were before, but this is something that I have been wanting to write for about two and a half months. I am just now barley finding the words for myself though.

-Sam

Your Own Agency

Your life is between you and God.

Did you know that?

I do.

Nobody knows what is better in life for you then you and God. When making those big decisions, go with your gut! You can bounce the idea off of family and friends, talk to and discuss it with those whom it may effect, and when it is appropriate, make the decision together. 

Ultimately when you have made your decision. take that decision to God and say this is my choice. If this is not the path you want me to take please let me know. And he will! Our Heavenly Father is not just going to tell you what to do! You can't always ask what should I do next? If he tells us what to do, that takes away our agency to decide for ourselves. He wasn't us to use our agency to choose for ourselves, and once we have made our choice, we should go to him to show our love and respect for his plan and for him to confirm that we are making choices that are pleasing to him. 

So make the choices that you believe are best for you! Make the choices that make you eternally happy! And when the time comes, when you find those people you want and need to make those choices with, then do that! Just always remember that Heavenly Father loves you and wants the best for you! So use your free agency and decide! 

-Maggie

Preface: The Disclaimer

We are just human. In fact everyone is just human. We all screw up. We all succeed. We all laugh. cry, yell, smile, run, fall, pick ourselves back up and keep going. We are just human. Maggie and I are just human. We don't know everything and we won't know everything. We have seen a lot and lived through a lot though. We know what it feels like to have our heart broken. What it's like to feel completely alone. What it feels like to think you are the ugliest or stupidest person in the room. We know what it feels like because we have lived through. Our experiences may not be just like yours, but we want to share our thoughts, feelings, and the lessons that we have learned because of it with you. You may not agree with what we have to say, and that's okay. You may completely agree with us as well and that's okay too. Even if this goes completely unseen, that's okay. Because one day someone might come across something we write and it may be exactly what they need to hear! And that's why we write. For that one person who maybe someday might possibly come across this and say to themselves "Okay I am will make it through this. I am not alone in this. I can see that there is hope." I know that I specifically write because I know that it would have helped me so much to know that someone else out there in the world is or did go through the same things that I did. So it may not always be fun to read. It may not always be exactly what we want to hear. It's the Not-So-Fairy-Tale Truth though.

-Sam